Last night my husband and I had gotten in a heated discussion, and fortunately, the conversation ended with my husband’s poignant perspective. He didn’t overthink it, but simply said “I’m glad for our struggle with infertility. Because without it we wouldn’t have known about your Celiac’s, your thyroid issues, and it wouldn’t have propelled you into blogging, a stronger faith, or to making better friendships.” It was a simple, but powerful statement that struck me to my core.
Sometimes we’re given struggles and yet we fight so diligently to get out of the struggle or through the struggle. But as the cliché goes, the beauty comes in the struggle. Usually that saying angers me. But people who claim to experience “enlightenment” or even just begin to understand themselves better, often go through tumultuous times or trials before they land there.
While I wish I could say that I don’t ever wish for our struggles and journey to come to an end (basically I hope every hour of every day that God will have heard our prayers for a child), the truth is it begins to set in a tiny bit more. That just maybe there is something to this so called struggle. And sometimes it takes another person pointing it out, but there is a change occurring in me. It may have started as a whisper and maybe it still feels like a whisper, but it is ever present.
I went for a follow-up appointment with my functional medicine doctor on Friday. And its times like that, where I tend to hold my breath. I was like a wound up stress ball of emotion the entire week leading up to it. Everything seemed to bother or upset me. Because somehow in my mind, I had this uncanny hope that maybe we’d get fabulous news and somehow my whole life would be changed after this appointment.
*Bubble burst.* It didn’t get changed.
Well technically speaking any way. It wasn’t the grand appointment I had been praying for. But instead it felt like, at least at the time, more bad news. On top of my Celiac’s, thyroid issue, and infertility, my naturopath also let me know that my iodine levels were ghastly low. My estrogen and progesterone levels weren’t in good shape either. Oh, and I needed to begin restricting carbs more than I already had been because my hemoglobin A1c levels weren’t in the most optimal range. I of course handled this all like a champion (not) as I curled up into a fetal position in bed at home, crying, asking God “why?” for the umpteenth billion time.
Fortunately, somewhere around midafternoon, I drug myself back out of bed and remembered the struggle. The process. The grit that comes with going through repeated heartache.
You just can’t give up.
The conversation with my husband happened days after my appointment, but I realized somewhere between Friday and Monday, why I do what I do. Fighting for my health and understanding my body better matters. I feel better. I feel SO UNBELIEVABLY better. I want to share that. I want to offer it to other people. And I want to change the story line of my journey. I want to keep the hope, amidst the grief, the pain, and the setbacks. I want to keep propelling myself forward towards our family’s shared goal: to expand our family.
Through diet changes alone, I have seen its overreaching impact on my family. Most obviously on me, who has been dealt the autoimmune disease card. SO much more energy, I often don’t know what to do with it. No more foggy brain, joint pain, crazy rashes, anxiety, or debilitating sadness. Better quality sleep, and no weird GI symptoms. But even my son, who has yet to be tested for Celiac’s, gets sick less and I swear he sleeps better with a more stable mood. Well, his mood is about as stable as a 3 year old’s mood can get.
So here I am today, letting you know, that with turning my diet and health on its head, I’ve learned more things than I could ever possible share on here with you. That sometimes the solution isn’t always just one thing. And sometimes things that are extraordinarily worthwhile take more time, more patience, and more work. But what I have learned even more recently is the broad sweeping impact diet has on all aspects of health.
I wish I had a success story today to share with you. But I don’t. At least not in the traditional sense. My success is right now. That I’m here getting to share my journey, my heart, and my perspective on diet and lifestyle with you. That I have transformed into a stronger, more resilient person who counts her blessing as often as she can and never seems to stop searching for more knowledge and information to better herself through healthy living.
If you’re looking for support, find a functional medicine specialist near you to begin the process of better health. I promise it’s not hocus pocus.